The Spirit of Self-Love

“When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn't healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits – anything that kept me small. My judgement called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.”

Love is everywhere. It's in every single atom of every creation of the Universe. But we are so busy looking outside of ourselves for it, that we can’t see the woods for the trees. We look for love in every aspect of our lives. We wish, hope for and desire the perfect someone to come and rescue us. We look for that someone who will arrive, save us from the despair in our lives and who will make it all feel worthwhile. While seeking this type of validation we project our illusions and expectations of love on to other people, and we get upset when they don’t live up to our vision of love. We sometimes try to pull the love from someone else by holding on too tightly; by consuming them with our own fears of abandonment and disillusion. It’s time to leave behind your expectations, the projections and the illusions that you have built around your belief of what love is.

Love doesn’t come from the outside, you must seek what you desire from within. It’s time for you to delve into the beauty and light that is in the core of your own being. It’s time to get cut the cords of the issues that you have let determine your self-worth and for you to begin seeing the real truth. It is time to expand past your own story telling, of all the things that you have been taught and allowed yourself to believe. Your mind will always believe what you feed it. Feed it the spirit of gentleness and fierce self love.

Live Well

Self-love begins first and foremost with living well. The influences you choose as friends and partners, the image that you project to others at work, how well you cope with the difficulties in your life, to how you treat your body. Self-love is a state of appreciation for yourself that grows from the actions you take that are in support of your physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love is dynamic; it grows by the choices we make and how they evolve us. When we act kindly, in all the ways that expand how we feel about ourselves, only then do we begin to accept our weakness as well as our strengths and actually work with them.

No Comparisons

We’ve all looked through social media only to see inspirational things which make us feel we are not enough. Maybe someone has posted a perfect selfie, written something inspiring or posted about their wonderful experiences. They seem to be doing so well at life and you feel so far behind where they are. They seem so together. I know it's hard when you look at so many positive things on the outside, but know that everyone has bad days. The next time you want to compare yourself or worse, begin imitating your friends or someone else’s lifestyle or wisdom, remember that you are perfect just the way you are; and infringing on another’s influence is to be stuck in a repetitive pattern of compare and despair. This will only attract more of what you lack, which is a shame when there's so much individuality and gifts you already possess and should be grateful for, which leads us to the next point.

Become Mindful

People who have more self-love tend to know themselves better in what they think, feel and want. They are aware of who they are and mindfully act on this knowledge, rather than on what others think or say about them. You know you love yourself when you can turn away from something that feels short-term-exciting because you know what you actually need and you remain strong, centred, and continue forward in what you already intended because that is what is right for you. By staying mindful of your own needs, you can turn away from the automatic behaviour patterns that either get you into shitty situations, or keeps you stuck in the past. The act of remaining mindful strengthens your act of self-love.

Set Boundaries

You'll love yourself more when you determine you’re own limits and can say no to work, love, or any activities that could harm you either emotionally or spiritually. This goes for attending events that aren’t an expression of who you are. There isn't enough time in anyone’s life to waste on shitty people or circumstances, especially when they take away your star-shine. By not indulging in the company with these people and situations you will begin to love and respect yourself more.

Forgive Yourself

We humans can be so hard on ourselves. The downside of taking responsibility for our actions is punishing ourselves too much for the mistakes we made while learning and evolving. We have forgotten that this is the point of life/ You have to accept you’re human, before you can truly love yourself. Practice being less hard on yourself when you make an error of judgment. Remember, there are no real failures. None. You’ve simply took a diversion and found yourself off track, when you realise you’re on the wrong track, this your message to wake you up and get you on the right one. There are no mistakes on the path to learning about loving yourself.

Live Intentionally

You will accept and love yourself more, whatever is happening in your life, when you live with purpose and clarity. Your purpose doesn't have to be crystal clear to you at this time. If your intention is to live a meaningful and healthier lifestyle, you will make small decisions that support this intention, and you will feel good about yourself when you manifest your intention. You will love yourself more if you see yourself accomplishing the things that you set out to do. You’ll feel less need to explain your short-comings, and you’ll have more compassion for yourself as a human being who is struggling to find your own meaning. You’ll become more centred in your own life purpose and your own values, and you will attract your living fulfilment through your own efforts. This is true self love.

Self-Love Meditation

Sit quietly and take a few deep breaths, setting the intention to connect with the love that resides within you, and follow it back to it’s pure and infinite source. Feel the grounding energy of the Earth beneath your feet. Feel the safe, dense, tangible love flowing up from below, from our beautiful mother Earth. Feel the top of your head, your crown chakra, open up and become filled with light streaming down from the cosmos above. Both of these forms of love, meeting in the middle, right in the center of your body; your heart chakra, Anahata.

Take a few deep breaths and set the intention that you will keep this connection open and flowing, ever expanding. Allowing more and more and and even more love and light to flow through you. Up from the Earth. Down from the Universe. See the light radiating out of your body, bright emerald green close to your heart with a circle of bright light beaming out.

Breathe the light in and out. Send it to any areas of your life that need healing. Send it to loved ones who need healing. Send it around the planet to heal every plant, every creature and Gaia herself. Send it out to your guides and ancestors in the Universe. See it connecting back to Source. See yourself, from this moment on, as a beacon of love and light on this planet. This is why you came here. This is why you are called a wise one. Do you remember? You are more powerful in this high vibrational state of unconditional love than you can imagine.

You can make a difference in this world.

The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own. No apologies or excuses. No one to lean on, rely on, or blame. Self-love is yours. It is an amazing journey and you alone are responsible for the quality of it. This is the day your life really begins.

Much Love


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Photo Credit Katerina Plotnikova

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