There are darknesses in life and there are lights, and you are one of the lights, the light of all lights.
This is a card of thoughts and mental processes. At some point we have all found our own minds a very lonely place to be. Whilst we may sometimes feel that we are suffering from the cruelty of other people or from ourselves, one of the important messages of this card is this: the only words and ideas that can actually cause us harm are the ones in our own mind. It doesn't matter what is said to us, it only hurts us deeply when we make those words a part of ourselves, when we repeat them in our own mind, believe in them and hold on to them.
At first you thought it will be so easy, that you would grasp every opportunity, that you would be happy and appreciate your freedom. But yet here you are, feeling stuck, fearful unsure of what to do next. It takes time. It takes real integrity and compassion to move forward into this new phase. The Nine of Swords reminds us that much of the fear and worry we feel is in our own mind and not a true reflection of what is happening around us.
You need to find a way to heal from the past and learn from it. Once you do that, you future will open up before you. Start practicing any spiritual exercise you take part in. This can include Reiki, Yoga or Mindfulness. These practices can bring you back into balance.
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